Part Twenty: Suck Me Dry

The coordinator seems to be anxious for me to get that second 24-Hour Urine Collection done, so I decided that today would be the day. I do have to work this afternoon for 5 hours, but I'm hoping by some miracle that I won't have to pee while I'm at work. Just in case, I'll throw my jug in the car... but how embarassing! ("Don't mind me boss... just going in back to collect a little urine. Do you mind if I set my jug here on the counter?")

Meanwhile, I also had to schedule an in-home physical for the purposes of my life insurance policy. It was supposed to have been done a few weeks ago, but there was a mix up with scheduling. My insurance agent has been pulling his hair out trying to get me in touch with the traveling nurse for an appointment. So finally I was able to schedule the physical for this morning.

At some point I realized that I would need to provide a urine sample for the physical. Not normally a problem... except when you're supposed to be collecting a giant jug of urine for other purposes.

So here was the plan:

The 24-Hour test requires that you flush your first pee of the day, so that you can start the test with an empty bladder. Well, instead of going to the bathroom right away when I got up, I saved my pee for the physical sample... emptied my bladder and marked that time as the beginning of my 24-hour test.

*shooo*

In addition to peeing for the physical, I also had to give a few tubes of blood. The nurse had little luck with my left arm and had to redo it on the right one. I was trying to avoid my right arm, because I still have a big ol' bruise from my last trip to the outpatient office.

In my previous 27 years of life, I had only had blood drawn once. Now, in the past couple of months I've been getting stuck left and right. Between the pee and the blood (and the kidney)... I think they're gonna suck me dry.