Part Twenty Four: Doctors Office Disaster

One of the things I was asked earlier on in the donation evaluation process was when my last Pap Smear was. I replied honestly that it had been more than a year, and the coordinator told me that I'd have to have another one done before I could donate.

Now it would seem to me that since my dad's insurance is covering all the blood work and EKGs and X-Rays and CAT Scans and whatever else... that they would also be able to cover this pelvic exam and Pap Smear that they seem to think they need. But apparently, the responsibility for those tests fall on my shoulders.

My last health insurance policy expired at the end of August and my new one didn't start until October 1st. So I had to wait a little while until I could go in for the aforementioned exams. At the coordinator's urging, I went ahead and scheduled the appointment early, so that I would be sure to get into the doctor as soon as my insurance policy went into effect.

That plan backfired on me this morning when I rolled into the Gynecologist's office for my early appointment. The receptionist requested my insurance card. I told her I didn't have one yet. She gave me a disgusted look and shook her head as if there was nothing to be done. I pointed to my new patient paperwork which had most of the information I figured she'd need... group number... social security number... And she eased up a little bit. She said she'd check with the secretary.

I sat down to fill out my privacy notice and was called back to the window a minute later. The secretary barked that they would be able to get by with only the SS number (as opposed to the member number)... but that they couldn't do anything without the claims address.

The claims address!?!? Come on people.

My policy isn't with some backwoods insurance provider. It's a pretty major company. If you don't already have the address on file, can't you make a phone call or check online and find it?!?!? Why are these people thinking I'm trying to scam a Pap Smear out of them? Trust me, I've got better things to do with my time. There's a reason it's been a year and a half since the last one.

Anyway... now I've got three ladies shaking their heads at me. They tell me that I'll have to "call someone". At this point, I'm in near tears and I do the only thing I know to do, which is to call my friend Suzi (who happened to be the one who referred me to this particular doctors office).

Suzi calmed me down by making a few phone calls and by muttering obscenities about every single person she contacted in her mission to find the claims address ("That receptionist is a whore..."). Eventually she got through to the insurance company for me, only to have them tell her that they did not have my policy in their system yet... and as a result, were unable to give her the claims address.

After about an hour in the waiting room, I accepted the defeat and trudged back up to the window to reschedule the appointment.

At this point, the receptionist leaned in across the window and whispered:

"Did you have a medical issue... or were you just here for an annual exam?"

I was shocked by her sudden compassionate facade and couldn't help but shout at her so that everyone in the office could hear, "I AM SUPPOSED TO BE DONATING A KIDNEY TO MY FATHER ON OCTOBER 25TH! THEY ARE MAKING ME HAVE THIS DONE BEFORE I CAN DONATE."

Apparently, the impending kidney donation wasn't deemed as important as if I had crabs or something... so the receptionist kindly rescheduled my appointment for next week. As she typed my appointment information into her computer she mused to herself, "Hmmm... I guess we could've looked that address up on the net."

DO YA THINK!?!?!