Part Eight: Milk Jugs and 2-Liter Soda Bottles

So I successfully smuggled my phone into work this morning... but had turned the ringer off in case someone attempted to call me while I was passing through the security checkpoint. Of course, I forgot to turn the ringer on immediately after I arrived at the caricature booth and missed the call I was expecting from the transplant coordinator.

She left me a lengthy message confirming that things were good to go for my days off on Wednesday and Thursday.

Wednesday
24-Hour Urine Collection.

So as the name of this test would indicate, I am going to be collecting my urine for a 24-hour period, starting on Wednesday morning. When I get up that day, I will mark the time then go to the bathroom and flush it. After that point, any time I urinate I will be collecting it in a container. I was very surprised when the coordinator stated that I could use a milk jug, or water jug, or 2-liter soda bottle for this purpose (as long as it is clean and dry). That seems super-unscientific somehow. She also gave me the option of picking up some jugs and a "hat" from the outpatient office to use for collection.

Apparently the "hat" is a plastic device that fits under the toilet seat to catch the urine, which is then poured into the jug. This seems like it would be a lot easier if I were a boy... or if I had the "shenis" or the "magic cone". Ha ha.

So I collect my urine all day long... (thank goodness I am off work for this)... and then the next morning I get up, write down the time and pee one final time into my collection device. Then I lug this container (or containers) into the office for them to take a peek at and get my blood drawn again.

The point of this is so that they can find out what sorts of neat things are passing through me in my pee and to check out how well my kidneys are functioning. If they find out that my kidneys are crappy... then it probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to donate one of them to someone else.

Thursday

The coordinator told me that I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything other than water after midnight because they are going to be doing a bunch of tests on Thursday morning.

In her lengthy message, the coordinator neglected to mention a time or a place for Thursday. That seems kind of important... but whatever. At some point during the morning on Thursday I will be taking in my urine sample, having blood drawn, and getting a chest x-ray and an EKG. I will also be meeting with the social worker, the financial coordinator, and finally meeting the transplant coordinator face-to-face.

The chest x-ray and EKG seem pretty routine... but I am interested to see what happens during my meetings with all these strange people during the afternoon. I know that they are basically trying to figure out WHY I want to donate a kidney, whether I understand the risks, and whether or not I will be able to handle the financial setback of being off work for the occasion. Oh yeah... and that my dad hasn't offered me some incredibly large sum of money to purchase my kidney. (Unless he's got his fortune buried in a jar in the yard somewhere, I don't see this as an option.)

Obviously, I will provide more details on these events as they unfold. HOORAY FOR URINE COLLECTION!

Part Seven: Dreams

I woke up crying in the night from a dream in which I was told that I could not donate one of my kidneys to my father. You can't imagine my relief as I woke up, face buried in my pillow, and realized that I still hadn't done any additional testing.

I am hoping/expecting to receive word from the coordinator today about my next appointment. This seems like it's been dragging on forever. I'm going to try and smuggle my phone into work this morning so that I might answer her call in person. With my luck, I'll be in the middle of drawing a caricature and won't be able to get to my phone.

I am off this Wednesday and Thursday and am hoping to be able to go in on one of those days. If not, I am about to become incredibly available soon... as my theme park work schedule drops to weekends only.