Part Seventeen: Hot Flashes

The morning of my final tests started out well, except that I was a little grumpy at the prospect of not eating or drinking until after all of my tests were over.

I made it over the outpatient building promptly at 9 and was whisked through registration and back to the familiar pistachio-green-adult-high-chair and my favorite blood-sucking nurse. I wasn't really sure what lab work needed to be done and was surprised when the nurse stuck me, drew a little blood, and declared me finished. She directed me over to the Doctor's Office Building where I was more than a half hour early for my visit with the doctor.

The DOB seemed pretty nice and fairly efficient at first. When I walked in I was asked to enter my name into a computer and a few seconds later my name was called to be registered again for my next appointment. Then I was pointed down the hall to the Nephrology waiting room, which would become my home for the next two and a half hours.

Now, granted, I was there a half hour early for my appointment... but 10 came.... then 10:15... then 10:30... then 11:00. At that point I was starting to get the Jimmy Leg and was very frustrated that so many people had cycled in and out of the doctors office before my name was called. Fortunately, my mom drove up to St. Louis to accompany me for my tests. This meant that I didn't have to wait alone... but it also meant I had someone who would join me in getting angry when it took so long.

While we were waiting, my little brother called my mom. He passed along a message for me...

"Don't be too worried about the CT scan, I'll be thinking about you today."

At some point after 11:15, a nurse finally came and got me... asked me for a urine sample, weighed me and took my blood pressure. She then put me in a room where I was to wait for a few more minutes. Ten minutes later someone knocked on the door but it wasn't the doctor... instead it was another nurse informing me that I would have to go back out into the waiting room and wait some more. Another ten minutes passed and I was called back in... this time to wait in a makeshift exam room that appeared to be more of a storage area for medical equipment. At this point I was so tired of sitting and waiting that I got up and wandered about the room. Eventually, the doctor came in looking very hurried.

She rushed through the paperwork and questions... asking things that she should already know... like why my dad's kidneys failed (Like I know), how long had he been on dialysis (I could only give a guess), and did I still live with my folks... to which I answered, "No. I don't live with my parents. If I did, I would probably be more capable of answering all of your questions."

She also asked me a bunch of questions about my own health which I've already answered a few times before. Then she told me that the urine sample I gave today had something wrong with it... something to do with white blood cells, which could indicate infection. But she acknowledged that it could be contamination from the vagina (I have been feeling a tad itchy down there lately) and that I could redo that sample later.

She also asked me some questions about the 24-hour urine collection I had turned in before. She was curious as to whether or not I was sure that I got all of the urine for that period. Except for the few drops that got lost when I fished out the cat hair, I was pretty sure that I had. She then told me her reason for concern... apparently something to do with my creatinine levels were slightly inconsistent for my age and weight or whatever. She said they fell within the range of deviation and were probably fine, but just wanted me to do another 24-hour urine collection to make sure. Then she signed off on my CT scan (which I was now late for), and sent me on my way.

My mom and I trudged back to the outpatient building and then were escorted up to the CT area with my favorite blood-sucking nurse. After a short wait, I was greeting by the friendly gentleman who would be administering the CT scan. He had me go to the bathroom to empty my bladder. Then I went into the room with the machine which looked like a giant donut. For some reason it made me think of Homer Simpson.

"Mmmmm... Donut."

I was instructed to lay down on the table with my feet hanging off the edge. The guy brought super warm blankets to place on me and they were all comfy like they were straight out of the dryer. Then he told me that I should reach under the blanket and pull my "britches" down to my knees so that they wouldn't interfere with the scan. I was able to keep my underwear on.

Then another guy came in to put an IV in me for the dye. I've never had an IV before and it was kind of weird. It hurt a little bit when he stuck it in me and then I had a salty taste in my mouth which the IV man said was from the saline. The two of them gave me the lowdown on the stuff they were going to inject into me. I was told that I would get a metallic taste in my mouth, that it would make me feel like I was having a hot flash, and that I might also feel like I was wetting myself... but not to worry because I really wasn't.

Then they said that I would probably need to go to the bathroom right after to help get the stuff out of my system.

After the IV was in, I had to put both arms above my head and they ran me back and forth through the donut a few times. I was kind of concerned because I didn't feel hot or a metallic taste or like I had to pee.

Then the guy came back out and said that he was going to start the IV now... which probably explained why I wasn't experiencing any of the side effects yet. So he started it and first I felt a tickle in my throat and then I just felt awful. I can't even explain it... the taste wasn't so bad. It was the heat... ugh... so frickin' hot all over my body... just burning like I was on fire... and I was cursing myself for wearing smart-wool socks today... and cursing the guy for putting those dryer-hot blankets on me. My feet were so hot and my crotch felt funny too. I don't know if I'd liken it to the feeling of wetting oneself... but it was definitely different. This whole experience didn't last very long... thirty seconds, maybe a minute at most. All the while I was having to breath in and hold my breath as I was passed in and out of the giant donut. Then the guy rushed out and took out my IV and the feeling went away. Blech.

After a five minute delay, he passed me through the machine a few more times and then we were done. Altogether it probably only took ten minutes and then I was out of there.

The guy told me five times to make sure to pee, so I did as soon as I left, afraid something awful might happen. Then my mom and I stopped at the outpatient office again to pick up the supplies for my second 24-hour urine collection. This time I got an official container and a little hat to pee into, which really does look like a hat.

I'm not sure when I'll hear the final results from these tests but judging from the previous ones it will probably be a few days. Before I can go any further, I will have to do the next pee collection and also have a gynecological exam and a pap smear at some point.

If all this works out, we're looking at maybe the beginning of November for the transplant. *sigh*