Part Twenty Six: Two Weeks

I've been thinking a lot about hospitals lately.
I've never really had to go to the doctor or hospital (for myself) before this year.

My older brother has asthma, and at an early age landed himself in the hospital where he had to be in a little tent. I remember visiting him there. We took him a NERF football. I couldn't have been very old... but I remember that.

My little brother was a bit more accident prone... his favorite place to end up is in the ER. One time he fell onto a broken lightbulb and cut his knee open pretty bad. I'll never forget the sight of that open wound... the gleaming white fat bobbing in a pool of blood. It made me want to throw up.

Although my dad had been in the hospital a number of times for one reason or another, the scariest stay he had was during his double bypass heart surgery (in his late 40's). He looked pretty bad afterward. It was after that surgery that they figured out that his kidneys were failing and had contributed to his heart problems.

The closest thing I've ever had to surgery was getting my wisdom teeth removed. Luckily, I only had wisdom teeth on the top... so it wasn't so bad. They knocked me out for the extraction. And that was the weirdest thing ever. I went into a room, got up on a table, had a mask put on me and a shot in the arm... and then they told me to count backwards... and the next thing I knew I was in a completely different room, with gauze in my mouth, and no more wisdom teeth.

Since I decided to donate a kidney to my dad, I've been trying to imagine the surgery day. But I really don't know how you can imagine having an organ removed. It's one of those things that you won't really know what to expect until it's already done. The doctors can tell me over and over what's going to happen...and the nurses can tell me how bad I'll feel... But until it's done... it's all just a blur in my head.

I don't like the idea of hurting... but I know that it is only temporary.

My friend, nurse Megan, tells me the worst part will be the gas pains. They have to blow air into you during the surgery to make a little extra room to maneuver around. Megan says the only way to get it out is to fart or to get up and walk around.

My friends Heather and Sarah said that the worst part will be my organs shifting when I stand up. Megan says that is crazy talk. But it's still creepy to think about.

I'm starting to worry that something weird will happen... I don't want to be the one out of a thousand that has some stupid side effect.

In the meantime, I'm still working my two jobs... watching lots and lots of Cardinals baseball (GO CARDS!)... and going to a wedding in Texas the weekend before the surgery. I don't wanna have much time to think about things. I just want to get it over with.

Everything will be fine.
Just two more weeks...